


It Started Out With A Kiss (How Did It End Up Like This?)

by CameToWin



Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: Autistic!Seiji Katayama, Jesse Coste is (Jean Ralpheo Voice):, M/M, Making Out, No one knows what the word 'friends' means, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, The WOOoooOOOoorst!, pretty mild but it's a major theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:29:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CameToWin/pseuds/CameToWin
Summary: Nick suggests he and Seiji watch a movie together so they can bond a little, y'know, like friends do?Bonding happens. Also kissing. And crying.Possibly more kissing, too.
Relationships: Nicholas Cox/Seiji Katayama
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	It Started Out With A Kiss (How Did It End Up Like This?)

Aiden had once mentioned staying up late-well, as late as Harvsard would allow-to watch movies. And Aiden and Harvard were the best friends Nicholas knew, so he figured he should at least ask Seiji if he wanted to do something like that.

He didn’t expect Seiji to say yes. 

“Can we watch Yaoi on Piste?” Seiji asked.

“Uh, sure,” Nick said, “Yeah. Uh-” He was looking around Seiji’s half of the room, trying to figure out where he would sit. Hopefully he could get a little space between them, just in case Seiji was allowing this because he was actually an alien who had stolen Seiji’s body.

Seiji picked up his laptop and started clicking around. “I think we can manage two episodes before I have to retire.”

Nick decided not to make a crack about Seiji not having to retire just ‘cause he talked like he was seventy. He felt that best friends didn’t do that. Instead he said, “I didn’t know you really...watched stuff.”

“It is important to rest at appropriate intervals in order to remain at peak performance.”

“Uh-huh.” Nick peered around the edge of Seiji’s screen. “Oh, it’s anime.”

Seiji stiffened. “Would you rather we watch something else? I know some people consider anime...stupid.”

Nick shrugged and took the only spot available: Sitting up at the end of Seiji’s bed, back to the wall, shoulder to shoulder with Seiji. Nick tried not to read into every twitch of Seiji’s muscles against him. 

“I haven’t really watched much anime,” Nick said for the sake of something to say. “But I’m sure, if you like it, it’s not stupid.”

Seiji gave Nick one of his signature piercing looks, but quickly turned away. He pressed play on the video and really british sounding horns played. 

Nick watched the show intently, trying to figure out why Seiji liked it. Well, obviously, the animation was pretty, and the fencing was great. Nick whistled when the main guy, (Yaoi? Maybe? Nick was having a little trouble keeping the names straight. The subtitles were going by pretty fast.) was completely disarmed by his rival. 

“Whoa,” Nick said, I could  _ feel _ that.”

Seiji nodded. “Yes,” He said so softly Nick almost missed it. 

The first episode ended with Yaoi crying in a bathroom stall, and when Seiji said, “Would you like to watch another?” Nick sort of accidentally smacked him and said, “Yes! Jesus!”

Seiji did not smile, but he looked dangerously close to it. 

“Is it alright if we watch the opening again?” Seiji asked as the music started playing. 

Nick titled his head. “You always watch the theme song. Why would you skip the theme song?”

At that? Seiji smiled. 

“Exactly.”

The opening song ended, and Yaoi and his rival were fucking in a fountain. 

Nicholas gasped and slammed the laptop shut. “Wha-what-Uh, Seiji, is-is this the right show?”

Seiji looked at Nick, cool as a cat. “It’s the second episode of Yaoi on Piste.” He glanced at the laptop and there did seem to be a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. “That was a dream sequence. It was symbolic of the way that-”

“Seiji, I may not know a lot about symbolism, but fucking is never a symbol.”

Seiji’s mouth scrunched. “It’s not...prurient. It’s a way of describing the relationship Rei has with Haru.”

“I saw that relationship. It was very clear what kind of relationship they have. It was not a fucking kind of relationship. So why are they fucking if it’s not pur-pruient?” Nick wasn’t sure what that meant, but he only barely stumbled over the word.

“Look,” Seiji said, holding his hands out as though measuring an invisible box, “Rei has this dream because his relationship with Haru is intense, a deep connection, but it is hindering him. You’ll see the way they hit the edges of the fountain-”

“You’re telling me if I disarmed you in a match, you would have a dream about sticking your tongue down my throat?”

Seiji’s mouth hung open, and he was looking at the computer like he had no idea how they had gotten on this topic. Then his mouth snapped shut and he turned to-no, he turned  _ on _ Nicholas. Eyes narrow, face set, he said, “That would never happen, because you would  _ never _ disarm me. You clearly know as much about kissing as you do about fencing.”

Nicholas threw his arms around Seiji’s neck and pulled him in, mashing their mouths together. He had just congratulated himself on his accuracy, instead of smashing his lips into Seiji’s cheek or chin, when Seiji opened his mouth and tried to slip Nicholas the tongue. 

Nick had been kissed before. By more than two people (three). He was sure of it. But then he opened his mouth and Seiji’s mouth sort of molded over his, and he forgot everything from his first kiss to his middle name. 

A moan came out of Nick, and for a moment embarrassment rose in him, but Seiji draped his arms around Nick’s neck, keeping him locked in the kiss, unable to worry about something as silly as pride. Nick got the distinct feeling he would trade a lot of his pride to stay here, like this, pressed up against Seji, their tongues meeting and then sliding off each other. 

Seiji pulled back a centimeter, which was kind of him. Nick hadn’t been breathing, and while being kissed to death would be nice, it didn’t have the dramatic flair that Nick had always hoped for. 

“You’ve done this before,” Nick panted. 

Seiji, of course, remained unruffled. There was a pinkness to his cheeks, faint as it was in the slight glow of his bedside lamp, but he didn’t look dazed like Nick. If anything, his gaze was even more intense and direct, the sort of hyper-focus that Nicolas would expect of him on the piste, not making out with a guy on his bed. 

“I used to do this...often.” 

Nick waited for a moment, even though he couldn tell that Seiji wouldn’t say anything more.

Nick is a fighter. It’s something in his core. Some people, when knocked down, take that as a sign to stop. Limp off and lick their wounds, be happy they got away. 

Nick gets knocked down and fire rises in him, roaring through his ears, setting his mind ablaze.

So Seiji had been kissed before, had probably practiced it with the same focus and intensity he did fencing. Nick pictured it, dry and careful repetition, running his tongue over his partner’s. Ten reps and then a three second break. 

Nick might not have much experience, might not have much practice, but he had passion. He wanted to knock Seiji down and teach him a lesson, even if he hadn’t exactly studied the material himself. He wanted to show Seiji something that he was sure Seiji had never felt before. 

Nicolas threw himself forward, startling them both. He was on top of Seiji now, one knee on Seiji’s laptop, which he quickly swiped off the bed. Seiji made the most undignified sound Nick had ever heard leave his mouth, but then Nick had his mouth over Seiji’s, kissing him like at least one of them was shipping out tomorrow. 

Nick accidentally sucked right on Seiji’s tongue, and was shocked at the small, desperate sound Seriji made, the way his hips immediately canted up toward Nick. Nick brought his body down, pressing hard against Seiji. Their legs tangled like they’d met before, their erections immediately brushing against each other, making them both gasp. 

For a moment Nick was looking down at Seiji, an angle he never expected to view Seiji from. Seiji’s eyes were heavy-lidded, his breath coming quickly, although it was in the even and steady way that Seiji had probably mastered when he was four. 

_ Vulnerable, _ Nick thought. It took him a moment to come up with the right word.  _ He looks vulnerable. _ Like Nick could kill him. Or do something worse, somehow. Reach inside of him and pull out some essential part, the sharpness in his eyes, his sure footwork, his deliberate, careful way of speaking. Just gently draw it from his chest and press it into Nick’s own. 

Seiji would make a sound, if Nick did that, a soft release of breath, not quite a gasp. Nick couldn’t actually pull out Seiji’s soul, but perhaps he could get that sound. He bore down on Seiji’s dick, grinding against him until Seiji moaned and grabbed Nick’s hips. 

Nick wasn’t sure what Seiji thought that would do, but he kissed Seiji again, just a quick press of his lips, before he moved down to bite Seiji’s neck. He half expected Seiji to slap him and push him away, but Seiji just writhed, grip tight on Nick’s hips. 

Nick wasn’t grinding anymore, more like thrusting. He was too horrny to stop and take his boxers off, so he just worked his hips against Seiji like he could wear a hole right through all the layers separating them. Seiji’s bed shook, the frame whacking against the wall.

Seiji twisted his face away from Nicholas, burying it in his pillow. Nick could see the red creeping up Seiji’s neck and he didn't hide his grin. He rocked his hips once, hard, deliberate, wrenching a sob out of Seiji’s mouth.

“Hey,” Nick said, and buried his fist in Seiji’s hair, giving it a little tug to turn Seiji’s face toward him. Seiji wouldn’t budge, and Nick almost laughed, but that’s when he noticed the tension in Seiji’s shoulders. The way his body had gone stiff beneath Nick, and not in the fun way. 

Seiji sobbed again, and Nick wrenched himself away from Seiji, skittering backwards on Seiji’s bed. 

“Holy shit,” He said, breath still short, cock still hard. “Are you okay? Did I...hurt you?” He looked Seiji up and down. Did he bite too hard? Bruise him? Give him rugburn on his dick or something?

Without Nicholas on top of him Seiji could burrow further into his pillow. His shoulders shook. 

Nick didn’t know what to do. Wasn’t sure if he was the problem. He stumbled into the bathroom and filled the cup Seiji used for mouthwash with water. He looked in the mirror, and was a bit shocked at how obvious it was that he was kissing his nuts off three seconds ago. It was not a look Nick associated with himself, and he was suddenly ashamed to look so flushed and hazy

Seiji was sitting up when Nick came back into the room, taking deep, deliberate breaths, clearly trying to calm himself down.

“Do you want some water?” Nick asked, holding out the little peace offering. 

“Thank you.” Seiji took a few sips, the flush draining from his cheeks. 

“Are you okay?”

Seiji was quiet. Maybe they were on their weird, bumpy way to being best friends, because Nick could tell he was thinking. It was worrying, actually. You have to be pretty low to not automatically say, ‘I’m fine.’

“I’m not sure,” Seiji said carefully. “I wasn’t expecting that. I suddenly started thinking of-” Tears welled in his eyes again and Nick reached out, as though he could just push them back in or something.

“You-you don't have to tell me about it,” Nick said. He thought that was the right thing to say, but he also wasn't sure he wanted to hear about whatever it was that could make Seiji cry. 

Seiji took a sip of water and carefully breathed out. “Would you like to finish the episode? If you have not broken my laptop.”

It took a minute for Nick to remember this had started because of a fucking anime. He almost said “No,” reflexively, but he couldn’t just go to the other side of the curtain and crawl into bed. There was a strange feeling in the air, and in the dark it would gain weight and possibly crush Nick to death.

“Yeah. Okay. That would be cool.”

Nick got the laptop off the floor. It was slightly dented in one corner, but Seiji didn’t mention it while he brought the episode back up. He skipped to the end of the ‘totally just a dream sequence’, when Rei woke up, breathing hard, totally freaked out.

_ You and me both, _ Nick thought, but then the fencing started, and the animation got all fun and rapid, and Nick sank into the flow of the story, not quite aware that he was also sinking into Seiji’s bed. 

The ending theme played, and Nick distantly felt Seiji move the laptop off the bed, and settle himself beside Nick. His presence was warmer and more comforting than a down quilt. The last thing Nick noticed was Seiji pulling a blanket over them both. 

* * *

Seiji blinked awake in the cool dawn light. He was startled when the first thing he saw was a face. For a second it is Jesse’s face.

That was what he saw last night. Or felt, really. It was so strange, so sudden. 

One moment he and Nicholas were kissing, pressed close, and it felt good. That delightful rush that reminded Seiji of a clean, quick win. Almost as good as the moment before he stepped on to the mat and he knew, could simply feel in the air, in the fit of his uniform, the weight of the sword in his hand, that he was going to win. And then he did. 

And then he was lying on his bed, Jesse curled over him, one hand holding their cocks together, the sound of his breath harsh in Seiji’s ears. 

It was the sixth time Seiji had stood in his room and told Jesse he was going to King’s Row, not Exton. Jesse had been out of arguments at that point. Just scoffed and carded his hands through his hair. Seiji was standing in front of his bed. He could feel the lip of the suitcase underneath brushing his calf. 

“Seiji, stop this,” Jesse said, “You don’t know what you’re doing. You’ve completely overreacted to nationals. You need to unwind. Relax.”

Seiji felt perfectly calm. He felt less than calm. He couldn’t quite find a feeling, watching Jesse pace his room like a caged animal. It reminded him of watching a bad movie, when something important to the plot happens, but it’s just colors moving on a screen. A sense of boxed up urgency that couldn’t reach Seiji at all.

“You just need to relax,” Jesse said again. Seiji could tell his tone had changed somehow, but he didn’t expect Jesse to push him backward onto his bed. 

Jessee didn’t kiss Seiji, the way he expected. They had first kissed because Jesse wanted to practice. He said he didn’t want to mess up when it mattered, and Seiji couldn’t find a flaw in that logic. Also, kissing felt good. 

But Jesse didn’t kiss him, or help him take his clothes off. He just wrenched open both their flies and started thrusting away. Seiji could feel adrenaline and pleasure spiking somewhere, but it didn’t seem to be happening in his body, just an echo from Jesse’s. He watched Jesse’s face contort, a series of expressions he had grown familiar with. 

Seiji blinked and the image dissolved. It was Nicholas in front of him. Somehow, in the dim morning light, with a yellow duck behind him, he had looked like Jesse.

Nicholas’ eyelashes fluttered. 

He looked blearily in Seiji’s direction. “You okay?” he mumbled. 

“You’ll be okay,” Jesse said as he fixed his hair in Seiji’s mirror. “You’re going to unwind, come back down to earth, and you’ll realize how stupid this whole idea was in the first place.”

Seiji didn’t sit up until Jesse had left. Semen ran down his thigh in a slow, disgusting slide. His body repeated the sensation on loop for almost a week afterward. 

“Seiji?” Nick asked.

Seiji felt foolish for failing to answer, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He had never told anyone that he and Jesse practiced kissing together, and he wasn’t sure how to tell Nick about what had happened. He hadn’t told anyone. It didn’t bother him, exactly, but he felt there was something he was ignoring. A word his mind kept skittering away from. 

If he had to describe the whole thing to Nicholas he might have to use that word, or Nick might, and then Seiji’s chest would collapse and he would be unable to breathe.

But then, that had happened last night, anyway. Without saying a thing. 

“Nicholas,” Seiji said, “Last night reminded me of something.”

“Okay…?”

Seiji’s mouth opened, but it took him a moment to will the words out of his mouth. “I was sexually assaulted before I came to King’s Row.”

Nicholas’ eyes went wide. “Oh my god, Seiji, I didn’t-I mean-you could have said no at any time. You know that right?” Nicholas made a face and then looked down. “Shit.” 

Seiji hadn’t known that. He tried to imagine what Jesse would have done if he had tried to say no when Jesse got on top of him. 

Probably exactly what he had done when Seiji just lay there, silent and still. 

Seiji put his hand on Nicholas’ face. He wasn’t sure why Nicholas was so upset, but he seemed to be comforted by touch. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

Nicholas’ eyes went wider and his mouth dropped open a little. Seiji tended not to stare at people’s faces beyond an appropriately timed amount of eye contact, so he forgot how fascinating they could be. Like Nicholas was, right now. 

“You-I’m upset for  _ you _ ,” Nicholas sputtered. “That’s terrible! And I hope whoever did that to you dies in a fire.”

Seiji took his hand back since it clearly wasn’t helping. “I don’t. He was very important to me.” It was the only way Seiji could think to describe Jesse that was true. 

“Seiji…” Nicholas whispered. “Will you have to see him again?”

“It’s likely. But I won’t let him do that to me again.”

Nicholas nodded, and brushed some hair off of Seiji’s brow. “I’m sorry I kissed you all of a sudden. It was dumb, and I should have asked.”

An idea sparked in Seiji’s mind. “You mean, if I asked you to kiss me now, you would?”

Nicholas blinked rapidly. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I would like you to kiss me now.”

Nicholas laughed, but stopped abruptly. “Are you sure you’ll be okay this time?”

“I don’t know. But you handled it very well last night. And I want you to kiss me.”

Nicholas laughed again, and this time it ended naturally. “You’re really demanding, huh?” He leaned in, like he was going to kiss Seiji, but stopped, so close Seiji could already taste him. “Seiji, are we friends now?”

Seiji and Jesse had been friends. Seiji never thought Jesse would assault him, but it was in the same way he never suspected his cook of poisoning his food. It was too strange and outlandish, something that happened in films and novels, not real life. 

Now it was all too easy to picture. 

Now Nicholas wanted to be his friend, and Seiji couldn’t imagine Nicholas hurting him. Not for lack of trying, but because when he did all he could hear was Nicholas gasping over the sound of Seiji’s tears, begging Seiji to tell him if he was hurt. 

“I think we are the best of friends,” Seiji said, and kissed Nicholas himself. 

Then his alarm went off, and Nicholas accidentally taught Seiji three new curse words, which Seiji assumed was also pretty good best friend behavior. 

It certainly made him smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was really surprised when I read Striking Distance and found out that Seiji isn't just cold and aloof, he is definitely autistic. Like, the only thing they don't do is state it explicitly. I tried to reflect that in Seiji's internal monologue here. 
> 
> Comments = <3


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